The most scary thing i've done since being in Bahrain!

Ladies and gay men you will appreciate this:

I had my haircut!

Before I tell you about my experience I want to put forward an idea to help ex-pat women across the globe: Hairdressers Sans Frontiers. A group of philanthropic trained Toni & Guy hairdressers fly to ex-pat hot-spots and train the scary Filipino/Thai/Vietnamese people, for the simple pleasure of knowing that ex-pats deserve good hair.

I would like to explain now that my haircut is very good, a little lopsided in a trendy kinda way. Basically, I don't need fly home to get it sorted out, or indeed visit another salon in Bahrain.

My hair had been a mess for a very long time and I had just been prolonging the inevitable. Motivated by the fact that I had nothing else to do today (more holidays) I picked up the phone and called Elegant Salon in the Ramee (Yes, Mary and James the same hotel where Cosmos is.) I was already terrified and when nobody understood the word 'haircut' I was a wreck. Still they said 'come now' and I did.

I entered through a wooden door with a faded sign informing me that the Elegant Salon is to my left. Once through, I saw a glass door with what I can only describe as etchings in a dynamic, trendy font. My spirits rose a little and I thought 'maybe this is a real salon after all.' All this hope is cruelly dashed when you walk in. There were three people in the lilac emporium. They all work there. They were so excited to see me that they stop giving each other pedicures turned off the TV and put on a mix tape of the Filipino cover band that play downstairs in Rock Bottom.

The place looks like a ten year old girls bedroom. Pink flowered wallpaper and lilac paint peeling from the walls. From my vantage point I could see some festering laundry and a kind of medieval contrapcion where I assume one has beauty treatments. I was then barked at in Vietnameese, I guessed correctly to sit down in the chair. Ice cold water was then poured over my head whilst a thoughtful woman then inflicted some kind of torture upon my scalp. I later learnt that this was a Vietnamese head massage. Brutal is to delicate a word. They are a cruel race.

Once I had ordered my style from the menu, and used the international sign language to indicate how short I wanted (Always remembering to gesture a good two inches longer than where you really want it.) the cut was relatively painless.

Then came the blow dry. Not one, not two, but indeed three woman started to yank my hair in every direction possible. One managing to give me second degree burns and squealing 'Bad hair. Will not stay down, I use heat.'

For this pleasure I paid 5BD, about £7, a tenth of what I would normally pay at home. As an after thought the kind lady grabbed my tits and hollered 'Two in one. Big boobies.'

I will be going back to Elegant Salon for the compliments and comfort, style and service. Better the devil you know...