Merry Christmas Everyone, or, tim's speech regarding home and the commonwealth

So, it’s Boxing day and, working in a multi cultural office as I do, I have officially become the oracle on all things, “why is boxing day called boxing day?” and despite their asking, they still argue with me when I tell them that it is the day that the tradesmen would open the boxes into which the rich people would have been depositing coins in the run up to Christmas.

What can you do?

Anyway, we have had a typically Tim and Heidi Christmas: went out on Christmas Eve – to the local expat pub, woke up way too early on Christmas and did the presents thing, then, upon realising our error in waking so early in the day going to bed for another few hours.

Thereafter, we did what is expected of us and ate smoked salmon and scrambled eggs washed down with the first bucks fizz of the day.

Christmas here is weird. It is just like a normal day for most people. As such, throughout the day our soundtrack was split between the plaintiff calls of the wood pigeons that have nested in our air-conditioning unit in the living room and the industrial grinding of the Indian construction workers that never seem to take a day off – ever.

But it was good. With the arrival of Christmas day, all the stress and hassle has passed. I nearly flew home a week before Christmas to go Christmas shopping on oxford street. It is not that you can’t buy things in Bahrain, it is just there only two tiers of retail here: really cheap and really really expensive. Someone could make a fortune here catering to the middle income normal people like me and the ho.

Maybe it will be me.

So, yes, with the coming of the Christmas morn, life is serenity and peace. We cooked, and I will let Heidi tell you about her accomplishments in the kitchen – we drank and were merry.

In the absence of any proper Christmas TV, we put on Indiana Jones and the last Crusade and dozed in front of it after lunch, drinking wine and not moving very much.

We missed the queen, obviously, but have seen a transcript online today. Same ol’, same ol’ really. One year, I would like it, if the queen went off message and just said what she really meant. I’d like it if one day, anyone in the public eye did.

There are photos, of course. They are in the group pages on the flickr site. You can go directly to them by clicking here

http://www.flickr.com/groups/bahrainandlondon/

What else what else? I’m back at work tomorrow – after not finishing until 2 on Christmas Eve and then going on to a work Christmas lunch. But that’s not too bad; they have finally given me my pay rise and are sorting out my CPR.

So, life is good.

Missing home, missing people. But loving Bahrain. Things are good here.

My apologies to those of you that I haven’t spoken too. I will call you all soon. Time just kinda ran away from us on Christmas day and then it was gone.

Take care all.

XxX

Bah Humbug or The Christmas That Never Was

Good Morning all,

I'm feeling a bit sorry for myself today. I'm just recovering from a god awful cold. That bastard Kofi cat woke me and Tim up at 5. Tim said that he was 'just being sweet and wanting to play' I don't like playing at 5 in the morning. grump. Anyway that lunk of a boyfriend has managed to get back to sleep and I clearly haven't.

Christmas is a bit rubbish at the moment, or more to the point it just doesn't feel like its happening. It's quite difficult to feel festive when you are still walking around in a t-shirt. In spite of all the christmas decorations adorning mega-mart, bahrain seems to have missed out on the true christmas spirit, which obviously is mulled wine and mince pies with bad christmas songs. I have been doing my bit though, I have mad mince pies with homemade mince meat (better than most shop bought ones, but still not as good as tesco finest deep filled.) Tim and I have mulled whilst putting up the christmas tree, I have been the cause wide-spread outrage at work by teaching the children christmas songs, and I have been working on a christmas menu to rival the one at the Peckham Palace including feeding the pudding twice a day. Try as I like though, I just can't help but think that this christmas is going to be a bit rubbish without seeing all of you. So I have decided that you should all fly out here so I can buy a ham and a goose and have a proper christmas with friends and family. Still Tim has promised we can go to a great big ginger-bread house in a hotel tonight where we can drink snowballs and eggnog whilst eating lots of mince pies... Maybe it will feel like christmas then.

Also am jealous of your TV options and cold weather.

Miss you far too much to say at the moment...

XXX

its not quite merry christmas just yet

hello all,

just a quick note to cover a couple of things:

1st, and many thanks to moo for making public the trials and tribulations being ecperienced by the turquoise clad one - it is a very upsetting time for all concerned. Our thougts are with him. But, i was gonna ask you all - well, probably just bruv actually - that if anyone can find a downloadable version of the david icke doc, please point me and my Bitlord in the right direction. Same for This life, but i think tobel has already got that covered.

2nd and this one is really upsetting, does london realy look like this?

I can't be bothered to upload the image cos the internet connection here is rubbish but click on the below link and you'll see what i mean...


http://www.flickr.com/photos/casualties/329957239

I have saved it as my desktop cos i think its lovely and, although it has been cold and wet here, its not properly cold and wet - just a bit damp really.

I miss the cold, real cold. It doesn't feel like christmas without it.

O well.

XxX

One for Tim

As it's my last day at work before Christmas, here's a little bit of Lizard-tastic news from the Guardian:

The much ridiculed world of David Icke has been shocked into real-life turmoil by a court case that threatens to bankrupt Britain's self-styled conspiracy guru.
Icke is fighting to retain copyright of the 16 books he has written over the same number of years. He is involved in a legal battle with a business associate over the written work, artwork and printing disks of his self- published tomes on the theme that we are all victims of a sinister global campaign.
The case, which is being fought in the US, is costing Icke huge amounts. Since losing his job as a BBC sports commentator 15 years ago, after he appeared on the Wogan show in a turquoise shellsuit claiming to be the son of God, Icke has eked out a living from his bizarre theories. He explains: "It's emotionally frustrating when you put 16 years of work in and take enormous amounts of ridicule and now you turn the corner and someone is trying to take it all from you." But, he adds guardedly, things are "well on the way to being sorted".
Icke claims to have built up a worldwide following that hangs on his every word. He still spouts his pet rants: that we are ruled by a sinister elite called the Illuminati whose bodies are inhabited by shape-shifting reptiles. The difference is that, apparently, more people now agree with him.
Icke says the tide has turned because his accurate predictions of world devastation and gloom have given him credibility.
Channel 5 is to screen a documentary on Boxing Day called David Icke: Was He Right? In January 1999, he wrote that "between 2000 and 2002, the United States will suffer a major attack on a large city". In his 1990 paperback, Truth Vibrations, he declared: "The years after the millennium will see gathering conflict all over the world to the point where the United Nations will be overwhelmed." And in the same book he predicted severe hurricanes around the Gulf of Mexico and New Orleans after 2000. "People think I'm some kind of prophet but I'm not someone who gets my information from the ether," says Icke. "I've been given the coordinates about how things work."

Obviously, being one of the Illuminati (an Illuminato?), I know he's right. But I can't help thinking that his predictions are a little on the vague side to count as genuine prophecies.

I thought I might have a go myself:

The Suffolk Strangler is a man in his 20s to 50s, who has difficulty forming relationships with women. In the next 12 months an English sports team will suffer an unexpected defeat. The next Prime Minister will be someone in the upper ranks of the Labour Party, who was formerly very close to Tony Blair.

And some psychic readings for you bloggers:

You have a need to be liked and admired by others, but tend to be self-critical. You will make an decision about family or career in the near future. Over the Christmas season you will have a meeting with someone from your past.

I do private consultations at very reasonable rates.

Merry Christmas to one and all

M x

Christmas in Peckham

Well, this new Blogger Beta is a bit of a faff, isn't it?

Anyway, I have battled my way to the stage where I can actually publish a post so I can fill you all in on the inaugural Peckham Christmas Dinner.

I was on time, Dr James was only 30 mins late, and a great time was had by all. Aretha the Plant was adorned with decorations (both sparkly and edible) and was crowned with the Megabus Man. Lotte had been using her leisure time productively to marinate her own olives and make some beautiful handmade Christmas cards, and it was clear that the festive spirit was strong in Peckham.

Lotte did ask me to report that the food was produced as if by magic, without hint of sweat or toil, and almost floated to the table, no doubt on an exquisite silver platter or immaculately manicured hand. I feel duty bound to report that LeLotte et LeLane had clearly spent several hours slaving over a hot stove and the kitchen was operating at near fever pitch, but they were clearly coping well under very trying circumstances and put on a very impressive spread. To start, we had a veritable mountain of bruschetti as we conference-called Heidi and Tim to wish them a Merry Peckham Christmas. This was followed by a very exotic roast chicken dinner, involving curly kale, celeriac mash and a delicious squash/double cream concoction. Dave also did a very good job of carving the bird. I think the secret lies in spending about twenty minutes sharpening the carving knife in as camp a fashion as possible.

After retiring for post-prandial smokes and parlour games (and a few more buckets of wine), we were presented with some yummy scrummy chocolate puds and mugs of Baileys. Yum. Although I still can't believe that nobody spotted my interpretation of Cheryl Tweedy through the medium of mime.

Photographs available at the Flickr Group Site...

P.S.

I hope Tim's ant farm removal site is healing well. I am very glad to hear that Heidi has returned to doing the housework in states of near-undress. As to Tim's Coldplay problem: the signs were always there. Once you've dabbled with the gateway drug of Snow Patrol, it's but a slippery slope. Just stay away from the Keane.

Ariston.

an answerable question

hello all,

I write today requesting your assistance, nay, urging you to help me.

something terrible has become me.

since the winds came, since the rain came and the nights cooled I have, and I can barely bring myself to admit this - the shame I bring upon my family - since the winters tale began in its telling, I have been craving and actively seeking Coldplay.

I urge you to help me remedy this situation.

I need answers. to what can I attribute this need? and in understanding it, please help me rid myself of this affliction.

christobel was that catalyst, I think, because it is through his mp3 collection that i acquired not one, but all the myriad albums of their production.

Bruv, in sharing this, I am asking for you to be helped as well. Please understand that it is for your own good.

But ownership is not the excuse that I need. From somewhere - and it can only be my dear brother again, Messers Felstead or Tilbrook - i am have acquired the back catalogue of beanie man, and i do not crave that particular assault upon the senses in varying degrees of violence toward, as far as i can tell, pretty much anyone that is different to him and his crew.

but with coldplay, i am drawn in and crave stadium sized levels of mediochrity and inconsequential lyrics so banal and about nothing that they shimmer in their transparency like dreams in a film watched by someone else.

perhaps it is a duvet i am craving. Or Methadone - some balm to numb me.

but coldplay?

i am asking for your help. please send forth the cure. I am becoming the 30 year old i surely am.

XxX

Bahraini Primark and Christmas Trees

These are some bad photos of note:


Our tree - it isn't actually on its side, you know

mary and james - taken at likwid and published in Oo La La

the ceiling of our wiinter palace.

The problem with bahrain is that when we were putting all this lot up, we got a bit hot and you know, we came this close to putting on the AC. Now that's not a good a look for christmas.

* * * *

Right I will start with a name and shame campaign: La Newnham you haven't replied to my email. Lewis you have not blogged for a while and I am worried about you in Wales.

Now then; Nada and I went to Bahraini Primark (A wonderful store called Rameez) We were officially shopping for Charlie and the Choc Factory costumes but of course we had to look at the sex shop bit. My god there were some amazing things. Green bodystockings with ties at the side anyone? Red and black crotchless knickers with pink pom-poms on? All this from a Muslim country, at least now you know what they wear under their abayas.

I also bought our christmas tree and Tim and I spent the evening drinking mulled wine and decorating it. This turned into quite a palavar (Tim told me how to spell it and I can't be bothered to get the dictionary) as the top prong was to bendy to attach our star. The tree looks very pretty. Tim has even let me put those foil garland things up this year, but he drew the line at tinsel. Spoil sport.

We nearly got another cat, but it was a girl and we thought Kofi would turn the flat into a scene from the old testament...

Today we have done absolutely nothing apart from making raline ice-cream which we will have with our home-made christmas pud. Bet you're all missing Hackney Sundays now!

Please email us you're addresses otherwise you wont get christmas cards and family photos, this year we were thinking of doing that annoying family update typed letter and sending it to you all. A pleasure for you to read I am sure.

I can still wear t-shirts outside without freezing!

X

These are some bad photos of note.

You`ll like this bro

not alot but you`ll like it .

and i`ll send you the file once it`s aired .

This Life returns after 10 years

This Life - Ten Years On will be filmed in London and Sussex

BBC cult drama series This Life is making a comeback to mark the 10th
anniversary of the show.

The 90 minute one-off episode, This Life - Ten Years On,
will be broadcast on BBC Two later this year.

Amy Jenkins, the creator and chief writer, said: "It's 10
years on and there have been big changes in the characters' lives."

The original cast, executive producer, creator and writer
are re-uniting to make the programme.

Among the cast who continued with successful TV careers
after the end of This Life are Jack Davenport, Andrew Lincoln and Daniela
Nardini.

This house believes that penguins work too hard.

Hello all you ones back in Blighty. Thought I would fill you in on our weekly happenings. I should set one thing straight, I have recently been moaning about the horrendous weather we have been having but, in context it is the beginning of December and I am walking around in a long sleeved t-shirt, and at night it is too hot to sleep under the covers with with the AC off. Its not too bad really.

Tim and I have bought three ducks for christmas, and we are going to be buying our christmas tree this week. The joy of being away from home for christmas is the excuse it gives you to go over-board on decorations etc. Tim doesn't know it yet but I have tinsel in mind. Last week I made the christmas pudding and my own mincemeat and apple chutney. You can't buy those things here.

Tim and I have been working extremely hard recently and I am now running the ARKIS debate society. I am also busy directing Charlie And The Chocolate Factory as well as my regular responsibilities. Tim works ten hour days so he is exhausted as well.

It is not all work, we have developed friends, and they are Bahraini. Tim Now:

so yes, we went out on thursday night with eathar who i work with, her possible boyf, possible just friend. There is a phrase we have learnt from one tree hill and it is possible that it applies here: Friends, with benefits.

anyway, we went out with them and their friends to a all you can eat and all you can drink place in adliya. it was fun. we all drank too much cheap wine and obviously didn't eat enough food becaue were all just chatting away and suddenly it was modnight.

from there, we went to a bar with aspirations and had a bit of a boogie. And its cool cos like they are not expats. There is nothing wrong with Expats, but Jassim speaks arabic and that is just better some how.

anyway not much was accomplished yesterday but me and the ho did go out for a most bizare meal last night. But that is for another blog as i am only writing this cos heidi ran out of words and called me in to add my twopence worth. I'm supposed to be cooking roast beef whilst she does some school work, but she's blogging; does that mean i can stop cooking??

XxX